I was always the good girl… You know, the one who said yes, but wanted to say no.. The one who didn’t rock the boat. The one who made things easy on others. Do you recognise her? (I now call myself a ‘recovering good girl’)

Because my parents had a difficult marriage early on, over time I developed beliefs that I didn’t deserve to have needs or boundaries. My parents had already enough on their plate..

I didn’t give myself permission to put myself first. So, I took on the role of the one who wouldn’t make waves and made others feel good about themselves. And no matter how resentful or unseen I felt, I never wavered. I often told myself that it was easier to simply go along and have everyone else be happy, than to speak up.

That knowledge of who I wanted to be wasn’t always there. And actually, for years, I was pretty good at being whoever others needed me to be. I was accommodating, helpful (to the extreme) and – at the same time – didn’t have a clue what I really wanted. In reality, I was great at fulfilling everyone else’s vision . . . except my own.

How much is your desire to be The Good Girl sabotaging your ability to set boundaries with yourself or others? This week I invite you to give yourself permission to ask for what you want and set effective boundaries.

It may seem simple but when you give yourself permission, you free the child inside to have their own needs and take up space in the world.

Give to yourself what you’ve been giving away to others all along. 

Practice in the mirror or with a trusted person – repeat to yourself:

I give myself permission to express my wants and needs.

Be curious what shifts for you!